My Unstuffing Pledge
We have a tradition of exchanging gifts with another couple who have been in our social circle for years. Every holiday season and every birthday, we make a point of getting together, usually over a homemade dinner and dessert thoughtfully paired with just the right wines. There’s always a gift exchange. We’ve done it for so many years that it’s just a given that when each occasion approaches, my spouse and I begin the usual panic as the days tick down. What do we get them this time? They don’t really need anything, neither do we. Why do we do it?
Gift giving strengthens relationships, especially if it’s thoughtful. But rabid holiday gift giving isn’t always the best way to foster meaningful relationships between people, and of course unbridled consumerism is terrible for the planet. I know, bah humbug. But it’s long past time to rethink all the buying and disposing of stuff that we do.
There will be 5.6 billion consumers on Earth eight short years from now. During the holidays, the amount of waste produced in the U.S. and the U.K. spikes 25-30%. And while more people are making a point of purchasing gifts that are sustainable or socially redeemable in some way, many of us still run gloriously far afield of our best intentions when it comes to gift giving. The truth is, we seek to satisfy the wants and needs of recipients first and our social conscience second. Given our almost hard-wired cultural desire to choose sentiment over conviction, it feels like a radical act to suggest doing things differently.
Imagine if every one of the 5.6 billion consumers in the world reduced their stuff giving by just one item per year. Just one!
There’s a group that started in the Pacific Northwest that’s been doing that for nearly a decade called the Buy Nothing Project. Check them out. Contrary to their name, they advocate for gifting in many ways, just with a very hyperlocal, community-building focus.
I recognize that not everyone is ready for change. A few years ago, one of my good friends “gave” me a donation to Heifer International for the holidays, a gift of livestock donated to a needy community in Africa. I was thrilled. In fact, this is one of the most memorable gifts I’ve received in the past twenty years. Inspired, I turned around the next year and gave my dad and stepmother a box of chicks donated to a needy family in Africa. Given the “gee, thanks” response, I am sure they had no idea what to make of it. Sometimes you need to read the crowd.
We just did the gift exchange with our friends again this year. But this time, I boldly suggested that in the New Year we do things differently. Of course, we’ll continue to celebrate each other with good food, dessert, and wine on social occasions. If gifts are exchanged, however, we’ll give things that are actively good for the planet, for humans or society. Maybe a plant. A volunteer day. A picnic. A game night. Gifts are great too, as long as they help society or the planet in some way. Local, sustainable. To my surprise and delight, our friends readily agreed. It wasn’t awkward or hard! Given the peril our planet faces, I’m so glad this little group of friends will take this small step to unstuff our lives. Now on to the rest of the family!
